Recently, a friend invited me to church.
Having considered myself an atheist since at least year 6, I had misgivings and was naturally doubtful about attending a religious service devoted to something I do not believe in. However, having not much better to do I decided to give it a try and tag along with my sister who is a regular there.
I think the first thing that struck me was the niceness of the people. It wasn't a fake 'paste on the smiles and act happy' nice; they seemed genuinely compassionate, welcoming and willing to talk to me. As a person generally uncomfortable in 'meet new people' situations, I was quickly engaged in a relaxed conversation with a guy my sister only introduced to me moments ago.
The official service began in a casual manner, with a fair amount of singing. Everyone sang with gusto, and even I couldn't help but contribute my wobbly tones while reading off the projector. The songs were Christian, but not all that different from the hymns sung at school.
The youths conducted amusing skits which often had the audience in stitches, partially tongue-in-cheek while also delivering a subtle but clear message: believe and trust in God. The sermon (not sure if its called that) by a pastor enforced this in no unclear terms by providing biblical and anecdotal evidence
After a few more songs it was off to lunch, where the members of the church once again showed their kindness and generosity. Many would introduce themselves in a friendly manner; others went further, coming up and chatting with me when I was too shy to approach anyone.
By the end of the whole thing, it was as my friend said: no one there tried convincing me to 'convert' and instead simply tried making my stay as comfortable as possible. I left feeling a mixture of happiness and relief; I was terrified of the thought of being in a room full of people I never met and leaving it after having hid in the corner for most of the time. The reality was far more pleasant and rewarding, making me glad I went on that sunday, and experiencing an aspect of church life.
Many of these people said they hoped to see me later, but for now, I think not. The service reinforced my view of church- it's welcoming, it's friendly, it's inclusive, but it is ultimately built on a religious foundation. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the people there; had it been a non-religious group I would've joined in a heartbeat. The fact that it is based on Christianity, something I do not believe in, makes it all but impossible for me to attend these services regularly. At the moment, I do not believe in the bible and its teachings and thus it makes no sense for me to go to church. As my sister would say,
'I am not ready for it yet'
