Recently, a friend invited me to church.
Having considered myself an atheist since at least year 6, I had misgivings and was naturally doubtful about attending a religious service devoted to something I do not believe in. However, having not much better to do I decided to give it a try and tag along with my sister who is a regular there.
I think the first thing that struck me was the niceness of the people. It wasn't a fake 'paste on the smiles and act happy' nice; they seemed genuinely compassionate, welcoming and willing to talk to me. As a person generally uncomfortable in 'meet new people' situations, I was quickly engaged in a relaxed conversation with a guy my sister only introduced to me moments ago.
The official service began in a casual manner, with a fair amount of singing. Everyone sang with gusto, and even I couldn't help but contribute my wobbly tones while reading off the projector. The songs were Christian, but not all that different from the hymns sung at school.
The youths conducted amusing skits which often had the audience in stitches, partially tongue-in-cheek while also delivering a subtle but clear message: believe and trust in God. The sermon (not sure if its called that) by a pastor enforced this in no unclear terms by providing biblical and anecdotal evidence
After a few more songs it was off to lunch, where the members of the church once again showed their kindness and generosity. Many would introduce themselves in a friendly manner; others went further, coming up and chatting with me when I was too shy to approach anyone.
By the end of the whole thing, it was as my friend said: no one there tried convincing me to 'convert' and instead simply tried making my stay as comfortable as possible. I left feeling a mixture of happiness and relief; I was terrified of the thought of being in a room full of people I never met and leaving it after having hid in the corner for most of the time. The reality was far more pleasant and rewarding, making me glad I went on that sunday, and experiencing an aspect of church life.
Many of these people said they hoped to see me later, but for now, I think not. The service reinforced my view of church- it's welcoming, it's friendly, it's inclusive, but it is ultimately built on a religious foundation. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the people there; had it been a non-religious group I would've joined in a heartbeat. The fact that it is based on Christianity, something I do not believe in, makes it all but impossible for me to attend these services regularly. At the moment, I do not believe in the bible and its teachings and thus it makes no sense for me to go to church. As my sister would say,
'I am not ready for it yet'
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Model Cars
I bought a model Nissan GT-R in hk at the start of the year,
but havent got around to building it until after the
exams had finished.
After several days of concentration, patience and occasional frustration, here it is!
The finished product is hardly perfect, with smears of paint and cement everywhere, but the whole process gave me a consistent message: If it isn't that bad, don't try and fix it; you may end up making it worse than it was before.
It's my fourth model car, after a Porsche Carrera GT, Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren, and a Ferrari Enzo. Its interesting how even though the failings of each car reminded me not to r
ush, I still tried to get through as much as I could in one go; I'd often start working on something even though the paint or cement had not dried.
Overall though, I'm pretty happy with this result, which I think is the most polished yet: it lacks the glaring blunders of the previous 3.
Hope you like it!
Any comments are welcome :)
but havent got around to building it until after the
exams had finished.
After several days of concentration, patience and occasional frustration, here it is!
The finished product is hardly perfect, with smears of paint and cement everywhere, but the whole process gave me a consistent message: If it isn't that bad, don't try and fix it; you may end up making it worse than it was before.
It's my fourth model car, after a Porsche Carrera GT, Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren, and a Ferrari Enzo. Its interesting how even though the failings of each car reminded me not to r
ush, I still tried to get through as much as I could in one go; I'd often start working on something even though the paint or cement had not dried.Overall though, I'm pretty happy with this result, which I think is the most polished yet: it lacks the glaring blunders of the previous 3.
Hope you like it!
Any comments are welcome :)
Thursday, November 26, 2009
aftermath
Well, the exams are finally over for those of us who did uni maths. Hopefully all the intense cramming (50 pages) has paid off, although judging from the fact a lot of us got different answers I can't get too confident.
Its only been a few days since exams have finished, but I'm starting to get bored already. Too much time at home not doing too much. In the past, gaming seemed like the awesomest thing to do, but now the prospect of playing doesn't seem to have the insatiable appeal it used to back in those heady days of year 9 and 10.
It's strange how my mood seems to swing significantly. Yesterday, for example, I was sorting out all my year 12 handouts and practice exams on the table to the positive beats on '101.9 the Fox' feeling motivated and purposeful, and today I'm moping about the same house not knowing what to do, just refreshing the facebook page (live feed and news feed) hoping for something interesting to pop up.
I'm hoping that getting a part time job will help with this...stagnation? and give me a bit more of a purpose in my day to day routine. I think its just that I'm not yet used to this freedom so instead of feeling free I feel unsupported, like a young bird free to fly for the first time but unsure quite how to do it properly.
Please feel free to post a comment or write something in the chat box!
Its only been a few days since exams have finished, but I'm starting to get bored already. Too much time at home not doing too much. In the past, gaming seemed like the awesomest thing to do, but now the prospect of playing doesn't seem to have the insatiable appeal it used to back in those heady days of year 9 and 10.
It's strange how my mood seems to swing significantly. Yesterday, for example, I was sorting out all my year 12 handouts and practice exams on the table to the positive beats on '101.9 the Fox' feeling motivated and purposeful, and today I'm moping about the same house not knowing what to do, just refreshing the facebook page (live feed and news feed) hoping for something interesting to pop up.
I'm hoping that getting a part time job will help with this...stagnation? and give me a bit more of a purpose in my day to day routine. I think its just that I'm not yet used to this freedom so instead of feeling free I feel unsupported, like a young bird free to fly for the first time but unsure quite how to do it properly.
Please feel free to post a comment or write something in the chat box!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
UMEP
It is now about 34 hours away from the first uni maths exam, and I've got no clue how I'm going to go.
With all of my other exams I've felt fairly confident about my knowledge of the course and that nothing much can throw me too off guard; its like the cliche about having a solid foundation, a deep knowledge of what is happening.
With uni maths, that foundation is more like the thin ice that forms across the lake- a strangely worded problem, or a slight mental blank, and I have as much of a chance of working out the problem as most of you who haven't done the subject.
Its funny how I always thought it was slightly disappointing how I didn't really have a clean 'cut' which signified the end of my VCE exams, because this subject isn't really a proper VCAA subject. I always thought that after chemistry it would be a kinda-not-really end to VCE while after uni maths its another sort-of-in-a-way ending too, so there wouldn't be a clear point where I can celebrate the end of my secondary schooling.
The disappointment stemmed from my belief that I could bludge my way through the subject and scrape through with some last minute cramming.
How wrong I was.
I've heard that the brain is one of the highest energy users out of all the organs in the body. Whether or not this is true, I wish there was a way I could measure my brain activity over the last week or so, or calculate how much content i've tried to force into it. I've been relearning the course, one intense, painful 'problem sheet' at a time.
I think I express myself pretty reservedly when I work; its usually only in the desperation of sporting arenas that I physically release my emotions. At most, I would clench my fists in quiet celebration at the end of a particularly hard english or chem exam, or possibly even after solving an annoying problem.
With umep, I can do full half minute celebrations after completing a single problem without getting it wrong, and slump my head into my hands when it is incorrect. That is how draining it can be.
It's funny because I always thought that a week and a bit would have been plenty of time, but the reality is I've been working far harder than I did for the vce exams and have desperately needed every minute of the break. People who did uni bio or accounting crammed their study in the day before the exam due to timetabling, and if it was anything like this, they must been absolutely BEAST.
To any fellow uni maths students reading this, hang in there. It's only a few more days left, and judging from just about everyone else, the light at the end of this long, dark, slippery and frustrating tunnel is very bright indeed.
Good Luck,
Loz
With all of my other exams I've felt fairly confident about my knowledge of the course and that nothing much can throw me too off guard; its like the cliche about having a solid foundation, a deep knowledge of what is happening.
With uni maths, that foundation is more like the thin ice that forms across the lake- a strangely worded problem, or a slight mental blank, and I have as much of a chance of working out the problem as most of you who haven't done the subject.
Its funny how I always thought it was slightly disappointing how I didn't really have a clean 'cut' which signified the end of my VCE exams, because this subject isn't really a proper VCAA subject. I always thought that after chemistry it would be a kinda-not-really end to VCE while after uni maths its another sort-of-in-a-way ending too, so there wouldn't be a clear point where I can celebrate the end of my secondary schooling.
The disappointment stemmed from my belief that I could bludge my way through the subject and scrape through with some last minute cramming.
How wrong I was.
I've heard that the brain is one of the highest energy users out of all the organs in the body. Whether or not this is true, I wish there was a way I could measure my brain activity over the last week or so, or calculate how much content i've tried to force into it. I've been relearning the course, one intense, painful 'problem sheet' at a time.
I think I express myself pretty reservedly when I work; its usually only in the desperation of sporting arenas that I physically release my emotions. At most, I would clench my fists in quiet celebration at the end of a particularly hard english or chem exam, or possibly even after solving an annoying problem.
With umep, I can do full half minute celebrations after completing a single problem without getting it wrong, and slump my head into my hands when it is incorrect. That is how draining it can be.
It's funny because I always thought that a week and a bit would have been plenty of time, but the reality is I've been working far harder than I did for the vce exams and have desperately needed every minute of the break. People who did uni bio or accounting crammed their study in the day before the exam due to timetabling, and if it was anything like this, they must been absolutely BEAST.
To any fellow uni maths students reading this, hang in there. It's only a few more days left, and judging from just about everyone else, the light at the end of this long, dark, slippery and frustrating tunnel is very bright indeed.
Good Luck,
Loz
Monday, November 9, 2009
flat
3 exams down, 4 to go, although two of them are just for uni maths.
Been feeling kinda flat recently. Motivation's been low; I can slog through practice exams but can't really be bothered doing other things. It's not what I imagined life after english to be like.
I think too much time is the problem. I'm alone most of the day with the whole house to myself and cant really force myself to do work because its so relaxed. I think about the time I realised I forgot to do chem homework 45 minutes beforehand, a worksheet which other people said took ages, and I finished it with 5 minutes to spare. Maybe I work best under pressure, but it would be nice to be able to work well without it.
Hopefully I'll find a part time job to fill the gaping expanses of time after chemistry.
If I can't do that I'll probably end up some fat lazy slob who can't be bothered doing anything.
On a more positive note, I went out to msac to watch the firsts badminton team play on saturday. My brother was playing at around the same time so I decided to see how the team was going.
They were pretty good; the year 7 and 8 newcomers have good technique and strength, and their attitude is quite good too. Going back to msac, I realise I don't really seem to belong there anymore. It's like a primary school once you left it. It made me realise just how fast time flies, and how you must appreciate and take the opportunities given.
I don't really feel like doing anything else now, but then again I've got nothing more of value to say in this post.
-end-
Been feeling kinda flat recently. Motivation's been low; I can slog through practice exams but can't really be bothered doing other things. It's not what I imagined life after english to be like.
I think too much time is the problem. I'm alone most of the day with the whole house to myself and cant really force myself to do work because its so relaxed. I think about the time I realised I forgot to do chem homework 45 minutes beforehand, a worksheet which other people said took ages, and I finished it with 5 minutes to spare. Maybe I work best under pressure, but it would be nice to be able to work well without it.
Hopefully I'll find a part time job to fill the gaping expanses of time after chemistry.
If I can't do that I'll probably end up some fat lazy slob who can't be bothered doing anything.
On a more positive note, I went out to msac to watch the firsts badminton team play on saturday. My brother was playing at around the same time so I decided to see how the team was going.
They were pretty good; the year 7 and 8 newcomers have good technique and strength, and their attitude is quite good too. Going back to msac, I realise I don't really seem to belong there anymore. It's like a primary school once you left it. It made me realise just how fast time flies, and how you must appreciate and take the opportunities given.
I don't really feel like doing anything else now, but then again I've got nothing more of value to say in this post.
-end-
Monday, November 2, 2009
Discrimination
A few 'features' from channel 7's today tonight show have been about people complaining about discrimination in our world.
One of the feature programs was about a coles biscuit called 'creole cream'. According to some academic Sam Watson, it's racist to 'people of mixed European and African or Afro-Caribbean heritage'. The man from the program (not sure if it was this guy) then proceeded to say products like 'redskins' and 'eskimo pies' are also racist and should be pulled off the shelves.
As I am of no European, African or Afro-Carribean descent, I realise that the term could be more offensive than I think it might be, but judging from the public reaction, 'people with a Creole background are generally happy to be associated with it these days regardless of the history', and a man interviewed said they didn't care about either despite being of such descent.
The man's claims, particularly about redskins left my brother and I stunned. I thought that if such a thing could be racist, will it be too far a step to label black pepper and white flour as discrimination as well?
It seems people who bothered commenting thought that the man had too much time on his hands and had nothing better to do. Personally, I think that if you try too hard to make things right, you might end up seeing problems where there are none.
The second 'story' was about fat people, and their struggle to find 'designer' clothing which fit them. Their main argument was something along the lines of :
'I work hard to earn my money, so I should be able to spend it on what I want to'
Yes, I think you should be able to spend it on what you want, but you can only spend it on SOMETHING WHICH EXISTS. If Louis Vuitton, or Gucci or whatever designer companies there are do not make a product which fits you, tough luck. They have their specific target demograhics, and obviously that cannot be everyone.
The people's claims that they are 'discriminating just to protect their "image"' is both ridiculous and true at the same time. Yes, they are trying to protect their image. Despite my limited knowledge of commerce and the business world, I'm pretty sure that's what every company tries to do. They spend millions of dollars trying to build up their 'brand' so that it means something, and those people who buy it are also buying that brand meaning.
In the most technical sense of the term, it is 'discriminating'. It is 'making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit' (dictionary.com). But the question is, is it discrimination in the public, socially accepted sense? Are these companies simply picking on these people just because they feel like it?
I doubt that. More likely it was a rational decision which weighed up the benefits of broadening their market and introducing a whole new class of buyers to the brand against the drawbacks of diluting the brand's exclusivity and image, possibly leading to a disgruntlement and exodus of its core supporters. The world of business is cold, with decisions influenced more by profit margins than petty dislikes.
An example of this widening of the market was shown by Porsche a few years ago when it created the Porsche Cayenne, a large, luxury SUV. Where Porsches are generally light, low, agile, rear-engined 2(+2) seaters, the Cayenne was a 2 tonne +, was tall, ponderous, front engined 5 seater with space enough for 7 seats.
The controversy it caused was enormous. Critics said it was the most unPorschelike porsche they had ever seen, while die hard 'purists' believed it was damaging the brand. The result? The Cayenne is now one of the most popular porsches being bought. It had the brand name, and performance (to a point), while also having space, comfort and practicality.
The point is, these companies are not stupid. If, and only if, they believe the product will be a commercial success, they will make it. If they don't think so, then stop complaining like a 5 year old kid because they're not going to do what you want.
If the fashion brands are discriminating because they don't offer their clothes in greater sizes, then ferrari discriminates against the poor, women's clothing stores discriminate against men and you discriminate when you choose to buy one brand over another. Sounds ridiculous?
It is.
One of the feature programs was about a coles biscuit called 'creole cream'. According to some academic Sam Watson, it's racist to 'people of mixed European and African or Afro-Caribbean heritage'. The man from the program (not sure if it was this guy) then proceeded to say products like 'redskins' and 'eskimo pies' are also racist and should be pulled off the shelves.
As I am of no European, African or Afro-Carribean descent, I realise that the term could be more offensive than I think it might be, but judging from the public reaction, 'people with a Creole background are generally happy to be associated with it these days regardless of the history', and a man interviewed said they didn't care about either despite being of such descent.
The man's claims, particularly about redskins left my brother and I stunned. I thought that if such a thing could be racist, will it be too far a step to label black pepper and white flour as discrimination as well?
It seems people who bothered commenting thought that the man had too much time on his hands and had nothing better to do. Personally, I think that if you try too hard to make things right, you might end up seeing problems where there are none.
The second 'story' was about fat people, and their struggle to find 'designer' clothing which fit them. Their main argument was something along the lines of :
'I work hard to earn my money, so I should be able to spend it on what I want to'
Yes, I think you should be able to spend it on what you want, but you can only spend it on SOMETHING WHICH EXISTS. If Louis Vuitton, or Gucci or whatever designer companies there are do not make a product which fits you, tough luck. They have their specific target demograhics, and obviously that cannot be everyone.
The people's claims that they are 'discriminating just to protect their "image"' is both ridiculous and true at the same time. Yes, they are trying to protect their image. Despite my limited knowledge of commerce and the business world, I'm pretty sure that's what every company tries to do. They spend millions of dollars trying to build up their 'brand' so that it means something, and those people who buy it are also buying that brand meaning.
In the most technical sense of the term, it is 'discriminating'. It is 'making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit' (dictionary.com). But the question is, is it discrimination in the public, socially accepted sense? Are these companies simply picking on these people just because they feel like it?
I doubt that. More likely it was a rational decision which weighed up the benefits of broadening their market and introducing a whole new class of buyers to the brand against the drawbacks of diluting the brand's exclusivity and image, possibly leading to a disgruntlement and exodus of its core supporters. The world of business is cold, with decisions influenced more by profit margins than petty dislikes.
An example of this widening of the market was shown by Porsche a few years ago when it created the Porsche Cayenne, a large, luxury SUV. Where Porsches are generally light, low, agile, rear-engined 2(+2) seaters, the Cayenne was a 2 tonne +, was tall, ponderous, front engined 5 seater with space enough for 7 seats.
The controversy it caused was enormous. Critics said it was the most unPorschelike porsche they had ever seen, while die hard 'purists' believed it was damaging the brand. The result? The Cayenne is now one of the most popular porsches being bought. It had the brand name, and performance (to a point), while also having space, comfort and practicality.
The point is, these companies are not stupid. If, and only if, they believe the product will be a commercial success, they will make it. If they don't think so, then stop complaining like a 5 year old kid because they're not going to do what you want.
If the fashion brands are discriminating because they don't offer their clothes in greater sizes, then ferrari discriminates against the poor, women's clothing stores discriminate against men and you discriminate when you choose to buy one brand over another. Sounds ridiculous?
It is.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Life after english
The english exam is over. Hmmm...
I wasn't too sure what it would be like after english. For a time I expected it to feel like the greatest euphoria, but that's not really how I feel. I suppose it felt a bit like the end of school; a bit numb and unsure how to react with a bit of happiness. Definitely doesn't have the sadness of leaving school though!
The exam overall wasn't too bad for me; definitely not the best 3 essays I've ever done, although language analysis might have been close. Text response was a good essay marred by a messy ending; context was an ordinary essay also with a messy ending. Whether the exam marker sees it as deep insight or an inarticulate writer is down to luck.
Spec afterwards was fairly straightforward; as Jimmy Zhang exclaimed, 'no graphs!' I realised a mistake afterwards after some discussion with other people though.
I was still kinda buzzing last night, and I don't think the lighning storm helped either. Did anyone else think it seemed unusually massive? The flashes kept lighting up my room; I could see it even with my eyes closed. The regularity of the flashing seemed strange- it didn't have a pattern so couldn't have been some flashing man-made light, but it didn't seem sporadic enough for lightning.
I went outside to try and see what it was. I still don't really know what I was expecting, but the unknown was fascinating. To be honest I even thought it could've been some kind of ufo.
I went outside, but couldn't see anything, and it started raining so off I went back to bed, staring at the cieling as the flashes briefly and suddenly illuminated my room.
This morning I was hoping for something in the paper or in the news about an epic thunderstorm or something last night, but it seems like I was just making a bigger deal of it than it was. Oh well.
Haven't really written in a while so I'm a bit rusty, but it seems a bit like sometimes I've subconciously imitated Tom Loo's style of writing.
Does anyone think that?
I wasn't too sure what it would be like after english. For a time I expected it to feel like the greatest euphoria, but that's not really how I feel. I suppose it felt a bit like the end of school; a bit numb and unsure how to react with a bit of happiness. Definitely doesn't have the sadness of leaving school though!
The exam overall wasn't too bad for me; definitely not the best 3 essays I've ever done, although language analysis might have been close. Text response was a good essay marred by a messy ending; context was an ordinary essay also with a messy ending. Whether the exam marker sees it as deep insight or an inarticulate writer is down to luck.
Spec afterwards was fairly straightforward; as Jimmy Zhang exclaimed, 'no graphs!' I realised a mistake afterwards after some discussion with other people though.
I was still kinda buzzing last night, and I don't think the lighning storm helped either. Did anyone else think it seemed unusually massive? The flashes kept lighting up my room; I could see it even with my eyes closed. The regularity of the flashing seemed strange- it didn't have a pattern so couldn't have been some flashing man-made light, but it didn't seem sporadic enough for lightning.
I went outside to try and see what it was. I still don't really know what I was expecting, but the unknown was fascinating. To be honest I even thought it could've been some kind of ufo.
I went outside, but couldn't see anything, and it started raining so off I went back to bed, staring at the cieling as the flashes briefly and suddenly illuminated my room.
This morning I was hoping for something in the paper or in the news about an epic thunderstorm or something last night, but it seems like I was just making a bigger deal of it than it was. Oh well.
Haven't really written in a while so I'm a bit rusty, but it seems a bit like sometimes I've subconciously imitated Tom Loo's style of writing.
Does anyone think that?
Monday, October 12, 2009
12-Oct-09: Stress
Are you stressed? You seem stressed. Don't get stressed. It's nearly over. Omg exams!
In the space of about an hour, both my brother and my dad commented on my stress levels because they thought 'I looked stressed'. I'm not really sure how to take that; sure I am sliiightly stressed at the moment (don't think too many year 12s now would say they don't feel ANY kind of subconcious pressure at this time of the year), but I don't think I was particularly stressed today.
After all I just had a pretty good solid day of study, and I was feeling quietly content with myself.
Done today:
-Spec 1 hour exam
-Spec 2 hour exam
-Chemistry exam
-English essay
Admittedly the english essay was just finding the right concluding sentence, but even so, that was about 4 hours worth of solid work. I'm not bragging about how much I've done and trying to make you feel bad about yourself; after all this was probably more than I did for the whole weekend preceding today.
I think I just work better on Mondays, when I'm spurred on by the feeling of a fresh start to the week (I see the week as Monday-Sunday rather than Sunday-Saturday), sitting down at my desk in quiet with the rest of the family out, a nice iPod playlist, and the guilt of yet another squandered weekend in which so much was promised but so little delivered.
The funny thing is, I got home at 3:30 but I don't think I started working until 4:30, and took a liesurely shower at 5:10 too. It's not like I completely spent all of my time hard core working until now. It just seemed like my concentration decided to dock at my consciousness today.
As I've said, monday's usually a good day for me. Sometimes tuesday is decent despite a draining 2 hours of uni maths, but most of the time by wednesday I'm pretty much all fizzled out and already looking forward to the weekend. However, I think now I won't be hoping for time to pass quickly; I wan't as much preparation for English as I can get!
I've been dreaming of how it would be like at 12:25pm on October 30th in a couple of weeks time; how the massive weight and pressure (most of it probably imaginary and self imposed) of writing the best three essay I possibly could would be lifted from my shoulders. After that I can approach spec, physics, chemistry and uni maths knowing that I won't have to think about English ever again!
What will the reality be like? I'll have to wait and see.
In the space of about an hour, both my brother and my dad commented on my stress levels because they thought 'I looked stressed'. I'm not really sure how to take that; sure I am sliiightly stressed at the moment (don't think too many year 12s now would say they don't feel ANY kind of subconcious pressure at this time of the year), but I don't think I was particularly stressed today.
After all I just had a pretty good solid day of study, and I was feeling quietly content with myself.
Done today:
-Spec 1 hour exam
-Spec 2 hour exam
-Chemistry exam
-English essay
Admittedly the english essay was just finding the right concluding sentence, but even so, that was about 4 hours worth of solid work. I'm not bragging about how much I've done and trying to make you feel bad about yourself; after all this was probably more than I did for the whole weekend preceding today.
I think I just work better on Mondays, when I'm spurred on by the feeling of a fresh start to the week (I see the week as Monday-Sunday rather than Sunday-Saturday), sitting down at my desk in quiet with the rest of the family out, a nice iPod playlist, and the guilt of yet another squandered weekend in which so much was promised but so little delivered.
The funny thing is, I got home at 3:30 but I don't think I started working until 4:30, and took a liesurely shower at 5:10 too. It's not like I completely spent all of my time hard core working until now. It just seemed like my concentration decided to dock at my consciousness today.
As I've said, monday's usually a good day for me. Sometimes tuesday is decent despite a draining 2 hours of uni maths, but most of the time by wednesday I'm pretty much all fizzled out and already looking forward to the weekend. However, I think now I won't be hoping for time to pass quickly; I wan't as much preparation for English as I can get!
I've been dreaming of how it would be like at 12:25pm on October 30th in a couple of weeks time; how the massive weight and pressure (most of it probably imaginary and self imposed) of writing the best three essay I possibly could would be lifted from my shoulders. After that I can approach spec, physics, chemistry and uni maths knowing that I won't have to think about English ever again!
What will the reality be like? I'll have to wait and see.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
September
Seems like its that time of the year.
Every day seems a little bit longer than the last.
Petals are unfurling on blossoming, vibrant flowers.
Temperatures rise from the chills of winter ever so slightly.
Educational institutions are giving their students a nice long break.
Manic fans urge their footy teams towards September glory.
Beds shed their thick quilts and electric blankets.
End of Year 12 is approaching rapidly.
Rejuvenate tired minds and bodies!
Its September, and the three weeks of break some of us have allows us many myraid and promising opportunities to improve ourselves before the final exams. Of course, its not unsual for us to feel let down at the end of it; promises of a practice exam a day, elaborate working schedules, discipline and determination, as well as plenty of sleep are often not met.
That should be fine; as long as we don't do anything ridiculously stupid, a bit of fun and unwinding after some pretty intense months of working, early mornings and late nights can only be good.
On a different note, Sam has kindly given me his camera phone footage of the 400m which I ran at house aths. It's funny how in the video it seems like we're not running that fast and it doesn't go for so long, but I can assure you felt like an absolute age. Note my staggering near the finish line :P Thanks Sammy!
Wish you all a great term break!
Lawrence
Every day seems a little bit longer than the last.
Petals are unfurling on blossoming, vibrant flowers.
Temperatures rise from the chills of winter ever so slightly.
Educational institutions are giving their students a nice long break.
Manic fans urge their footy teams towards September glory.
Beds shed their thick quilts and electric blankets.
End of Year 12 is approaching rapidly.
Rejuvenate tired minds and bodies!
Its September, and the three weeks of break some of us have allows us many myraid and promising opportunities to improve ourselves before the final exams. Of course, its not unsual for us to feel let down at the end of it; promises of a practice exam a day, elaborate working schedules, discipline and determination, as well as plenty of sleep are often not met.
That should be fine; as long as we don't do anything ridiculously stupid, a bit of fun and unwinding after some pretty intense months of working, early mornings and late nights can only be good.
On a different note, Sam has kindly given me his camera phone footage of the 400m which I ran at house aths. It's funny how in the video it seems like we're not running that fast and it doesn't go for so long, but I can assure you felt like an absolute age. Note my staggering near the finish line :P Thanks Sammy!
Wish you all a great term break!
Lawrence
Monday, August 31, 2009
31 August 09: Cramping
I went for a run in the afternoon today. Straight after weights. Following up a lunchtime soccer session. On the same day as PE, which was admittedly speedball/vortex, but still left me pretty tired chasing around in the hope of catching the thing.
Conditions were good, despite bucketing rain leaving a wet pavement. No choking pollution induced by Toorak Rd roadworks. No gale force headwind up the long northward straight. No excuses for a bad time from the environment.
First lap was a fairly sluggish 7:47. My best lap was 6:56, but then again I have had some fairly leisurely 8:00+ laps so it wasn't too bad. On the second lap, 3 slow minutes in, i started cramping.
After lap 1 I was getting tired, but then after a few hundred metres my legs started getting that dreaded feeling. It wasn't a mega cramp which left me rolling around begging for the torture to stop. I knew at that point that I had to stop and stretch.
My legs were pretty much screaming 'STOP!' There wasn't much point continuing; I was hardly on a record time, and with my limited knowledge of sports science, there were fears permanent damage would be done. I walked pretty much the rest of the way, tried a few slow jogs which led to more cramping then had to stop again.
The result? A grand time of 12:30.7, a full 1 minute and 22 seconds slower than my next best time in which I walked most of it with a stomach ache.
I do believe there is an underlying lesson to be learnt here apart from the obvious 'don't try running 3 k's after a lot of sport on the same day'. Just as too much physical exertion may burn you out and not produce much in terms of results, the same could be said for studying.
What is the point of studying if your thoughts are elsewhere?
Just how much redox theory or wave-particle duality or John Wade or calculus will an indifferent mind absorb?
The upcoming months are about doing the best that you possibly can; the aim is to fulfull your potential.
The key word here is 'you'. While we all dream some time or another of that 99.95, for some that goal is not realistically attainable; yours truly is still hoping, but accepts with a wry smile that there are others smarter, more gifted, harder working and with a better set of subjects than himself.
It's important to keep in mind your own abilities and limitations; while we hear about many people triumphing over adversity due to sheer willpower, there are just as many who accept the gulf between them and their goal, turn their attention elsewhere and find something they find just as fulfilling but better suited to their unique skill set.
My friend Tom suggested my blogs were too long, and while I was hoping to keep this one short it seems like its grown longer than his hair! Its time for me to stop rambling.
Lawrence
Conditions were good, despite bucketing rain leaving a wet pavement. No choking pollution induced by Toorak Rd roadworks. No gale force headwind up the long northward straight. No excuses for a bad time from the environment.
First lap was a fairly sluggish 7:47. My best lap was 6:56, but then again I have had some fairly leisurely 8:00+ laps so it wasn't too bad. On the second lap, 3 slow minutes in, i started cramping.
After lap 1 I was getting tired, but then after a few hundred metres my legs started getting that dreaded feeling. It wasn't a mega cramp which left me rolling around begging for the torture to stop. I knew at that point that I had to stop and stretch.
My legs were pretty much screaming 'STOP!' There wasn't much point continuing; I was hardly on a record time, and with my limited knowledge of sports science, there were fears permanent damage would be done. I walked pretty much the rest of the way, tried a few slow jogs which led to more cramping then had to stop again.
The result? A grand time of 12:30.7, a full 1 minute and 22 seconds slower than my next best time in which I walked most of it with a stomach ache.
I do believe there is an underlying lesson to be learnt here apart from the obvious 'don't try running 3 k's after a lot of sport on the same day'. Just as too much physical exertion may burn you out and not produce much in terms of results, the same could be said for studying.
What is the point of studying if your thoughts are elsewhere?
Just how much redox theory or wave-particle duality or John Wade or calculus will an indifferent mind absorb?
The upcoming months are about doing the best that you possibly can; the aim is to fulfull your potential.
The key word here is 'you'. While we all dream some time or another of that 99.95, for some that goal is not realistically attainable; yours truly is still hoping, but accepts with a wry smile that there are others smarter, more gifted, harder working and with a better set of subjects than himself.
It's important to keep in mind your own abilities and limitations; while we hear about many people triumphing over adversity due to sheer willpower, there are just as many who accept the gulf between them and their goal, turn their attention elsewhere and find something they find just as fulfilling but better suited to their unique skill set.
My friend Tom suggested my blogs were too long, and while I was hoping to keep this one short it seems like its grown longer than his hair! Its time for me to stop rambling.
Lawrence
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
26-Aug-09: sacs are winding up.
Nothing much to talk about here.
Went for a run around the block, pushing myself hard in the second lap to come up with the best time I've got recently, only to realise when I got home that it still wasn't as good as the one set 5 months and a day ago. Still felt good though; I reckon a run once in a while helps refresh the body and gives a break from all the study we have to slog through.
Today was the first time I used the internet since Sunday night. In a way I'm proud of this 'achievement', but it throws up an interesting question: does that mean I'm ashamed of using the internet?
Initially, the answer is no. The internet's a great way for connecting and entertainment. However, I think the sense of achievement comes from the fact that many times in the past, I have moped about on the computer; not so much surfing on the net as wallowing in its vast ocean of potential distractions.
We just had our last prac sac for chem. We've already had our last ever english sac as well as our last non-trial-exam spec sac, and physics sacs are starting to run out. It seemed just a few months ago that we were having our first sacs and getting all worked up about them, but now they're just another stop on the way to the big thing: the end of year exams.
Revision for these exams are starting to pick up, with a full blown english trial exam in about a week. In private study today I was talking to some students who did methods with me last year, and while I did do a lot of practice exams, it was nowhere near what they did; some of them did double or even triple the number that I did. Even though my methods mark was better than I had hoped, perhaps doing those extra trial exams would've given me the score I truly wanted.
I think that this, like my recent running time, shows me just how much harder I can work; that no matter how difficult things may seem during the revision period, there is no real limit to how much practice one can have, and if there is one, it's certainly way above how hard I worked for methods and bio last year.
I'm determined not to make the same mistake this year, and I know that while the year is nearly over, there's still half of the english assesment, 2/3rds of maths, and 1/3 of the sciences left to go, so there's plently of room for all of us to do well!
Cheers,
Lawrence
Went for a run around the block, pushing myself hard in the second lap to come up with the best time I've got recently, only to realise when I got home that it still wasn't as good as the one set 5 months and a day ago. Still felt good though; I reckon a run once in a while helps refresh the body and gives a break from all the study we have to slog through.
Today was the first time I used the internet since Sunday night. In a way I'm proud of this 'achievement', but it throws up an interesting question: does that mean I'm ashamed of using the internet?
Initially, the answer is no. The internet's a great way for connecting and entertainment. However, I think the sense of achievement comes from the fact that many times in the past, I have moped about on the computer; not so much surfing on the net as wallowing in its vast ocean of potential distractions.
We just had our last prac sac for chem. We've already had our last ever english sac as well as our last non-trial-exam spec sac, and physics sacs are starting to run out. It seemed just a few months ago that we were having our first sacs and getting all worked up about them, but now they're just another stop on the way to the big thing: the end of year exams.
Revision for these exams are starting to pick up, with a full blown english trial exam in about a week. In private study today I was talking to some students who did methods with me last year, and while I did do a lot of practice exams, it was nowhere near what they did; some of them did double or even triple the number that I did. Even though my methods mark was better than I had hoped, perhaps doing those extra trial exams would've given me the score I truly wanted.
I think that this, like my recent running time, shows me just how much harder I can work; that no matter how difficult things may seem during the revision period, there is no real limit to how much practice one can have, and if there is one, it's certainly way above how hard I worked for methods and bio last year.
I'm determined not to make the same mistake this year, and I know that while the year is nearly over, there's still half of the english assesment, 2/3rds of maths, and 1/3 of the sciences left to go, so there's plently of room for all of us to do well!
Cheers,
Lawrence
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Parents
Just how important are our parents?
Strangely, I thought about this because of all the iPhones and iTouches I'm seeing around the place. There's nothing wrong with them; I think they're great devices. In the past, I would be envious of others with these new, flashy marvels of technology and wish that I wasn't stuck with my brick phone which was the cheapest phone on the market at about $59 and can't even store music and doesn't have a camera.
Yet curiously, despite my phone being an emblem of what material posessions I do not have, I see it as a symbol of everything I do have. It is not in the best condition as I've been pretty careless with it. There are a series of parallel slashes across the back of the phone, the result of me dropping it on a ski field. Someone skiied over it, picked it up and returned it to my father.
Those ski marks remind me of all the holidays my parents take me on all the time. All the trips to the snow. All the theme parks. All the scenic destinations. All the foreign countries that would leave us with an ever broadening knowledge of the world.
I have friends who have all the xboxes, playstations and things like this, but rarely leave their country. I know that they would happily trade their toys for more holidays, and I would not give up my holidays for these games.
It reminds me of just how lucky I am to have the parents I have. Other parents may be richer. Other parents might be 'cooler'. Other parents may be more lenient. Other parents may spoil and encourage me more.
None of that matters to me.
My parents are not perfect. I know that. But although they can sometimes seem insensitive, I know that they care for me more than anyone else possibly could.
My mum works tirelessly, whether at work or at home. And yet she never complains about it, always willing to drive us around wherever we want or need to.
My dad also works extremely hard. He has to juggle multiple pressing matters, the strain sometimes showing through, but as the leader of the house shows great poise and is also just as willing to take us places.
My dad's constant desire to make things better for us was highlighted when he proposed working overseas; there, he claimed, his income would be more than doubled.
The reaction of our family was unanimous.
We questioned him on how he could possibly survive over there; he can barely cook 2 minute noodles, let alone buy groceries to cook for himself. He would get to see us about once every six months at best.
The fact was, none of us wanted this possibility to become reality; We all enjoy his company and care for him, and the prospect of only seeing him twice a year was unpalatable.
The money was not an issue; I don't think we would support his moving even if his pay was tripled, or quadrupled.
It was just that number of iPhones and playstations and pocket money would be able to compensate for his absence, and we wanted him to be with us.
The whole saga reminded me of just how fortunate I am to have the parents I do. I have a good education, have a decent work ethic, pick up new ideas relatively quickly, and generally conduct myself with dignity and self respect.
I do not thank myself for this; nor do I thank chance, or God, or any other kind of higher entity.
I know that where I am today is almost completely due to my parents.
They have given me the framework for living ever since a young age. They gave me a strong sense of direction for what was right and what was wrong; who I should look up to and who I should avoid; where to go for help and advice and where to steer clear of; how to act in the presence of others; and finally, why I should do all of this.
Sometimes what my parents say don't always sound the best to my teenage ears, but I will remember my mother's words in cantonese, which roughly translates to:
"we will never do anything to harm you"
It sounds obvious and silly in english, but those six words in my native tongue encapsulates the complete and utter care they have for me, and my only hope is that someday I will be able to repay that back to them.
Loz
Strangely, I thought about this because of all the iPhones and iTouches I'm seeing around the place. There's nothing wrong with them; I think they're great devices. In the past, I would be envious of others with these new, flashy marvels of technology and wish that I wasn't stuck with my brick phone which was the cheapest phone on the market at about $59 and can't even store music and doesn't have a camera.
Yet curiously, despite my phone being an emblem of what material posessions I do not have, I see it as a symbol of everything I do have. It is not in the best condition as I've been pretty careless with it. There are a series of parallel slashes across the back of the phone, the result of me dropping it on a ski field. Someone skiied over it, picked it up and returned it to my father.
Those ski marks remind me of all the holidays my parents take me on all the time. All the trips to the snow. All the theme parks. All the scenic destinations. All the foreign countries that would leave us with an ever broadening knowledge of the world.
I have friends who have all the xboxes, playstations and things like this, but rarely leave their country. I know that they would happily trade their toys for more holidays, and I would not give up my holidays for these games.
It reminds me of just how lucky I am to have the parents I have. Other parents may be richer. Other parents might be 'cooler'. Other parents may be more lenient. Other parents may spoil and encourage me more.
None of that matters to me.
My parents are not perfect. I know that. But although they can sometimes seem insensitive, I know that they care for me more than anyone else possibly could.
My mum works tirelessly, whether at work or at home. And yet she never complains about it, always willing to drive us around wherever we want or need to.
My dad also works extremely hard. He has to juggle multiple pressing matters, the strain sometimes showing through, but as the leader of the house shows great poise and is also just as willing to take us places.
My dad's constant desire to make things better for us was highlighted when he proposed working overseas; there, he claimed, his income would be more than doubled.
The reaction of our family was unanimous.
We questioned him on how he could possibly survive over there; he can barely cook 2 minute noodles, let alone buy groceries to cook for himself. He would get to see us about once every six months at best.
The fact was, none of us wanted this possibility to become reality; We all enjoy his company and care for him, and the prospect of only seeing him twice a year was unpalatable.
The money was not an issue; I don't think we would support his moving even if his pay was tripled, or quadrupled.
It was just that number of iPhones and playstations and pocket money would be able to compensate for his absence, and we wanted him to be with us.
The whole saga reminded me of just how fortunate I am to have the parents I do. I have a good education, have a decent work ethic, pick up new ideas relatively quickly, and generally conduct myself with dignity and self respect.
I do not thank myself for this; nor do I thank chance, or God, or any other kind of higher entity.
I know that where I am today is almost completely due to my parents.
They have given me the framework for living ever since a young age. They gave me a strong sense of direction for what was right and what was wrong; who I should look up to and who I should avoid; where to go for help and advice and where to steer clear of; how to act in the presence of others; and finally, why I should do all of this.
Sometimes what my parents say don't always sound the best to my teenage ears, but I will remember my mother's words in cantonese, which roughly translates to:
"we will never do anything to harm you"
It sounds obvious and silly in english, but those six words in my native tongue encapsulates the complete and utter care they have for me, and my only hope is that someday I will be able to repay that back to them.
Loz
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Four Hundred Metres.
A lanky guy filled in for a star sprinter in the 400m at CGS aths day. This is his story.
I wasn't listed to do the 400m. However, Sam Chan pulled out and offered me the spot, so I took it. It was 400m A's, which meant I was racing pretty much the top runner from each of the 8 houses. 'That's alright', I thought, because it meant I wouldn't have much pressure to perform; I am no athlete so no one expects me to do well anyway. I tell Kai about it.
Kai: 'you doing the A's?'
Me: 'yeah'
Kai: 'you've got to sprint that'
Me: 'ohh...'
To be honest that never occured to me that I would have to be 'sprinting', because I thought I was simply making up the numbers. It really freaked me out because it meant that now I had real pressure to perform.
The lineup did not look good for me:
J.Tsarouhas SUM
S.Tarbet BRI
me
H.Leung ROB
H.Levvey STE
B.Mellody SCH
S.Soh DER
N.Burri MAC
All were very accomplished athletes; it didn't look like I would be able to come close to any, let alone beat any of them.
I lined up at the cones along with everyone else. I watched the year 10s, then 11s, then 12 B's race. The races didn't go for very long, so hopefully my torture won't last very long.
Out we walk onto the red track, to our respective positions. I was in the 3rd lane, which I liked because it meant I was still on the inside, but dont start off like I'm behind everybody else.
I stand behind my cone, then walk forward to have a go crouching at the line.
'TAKE YOUR MARKS!'
up I walk, then slowly crouch down.
The perspective completely changes; the track is a lot closer, and I can see the little bumps on the track.
I see the other racers crouching ahead of me.
I see the white lines next to me quickly curving around the bend.
I feel a small breeze blow, making my fringe wave in the air ahead of me. My breathing is quiet, my heart pounding hard.
'SET!'
I get myself ready, pricking my ears for the bang of the gun, preparing my quads to spring me out of my crouch and down the track. I look down at the white line ahead of me, with my fingers splayed out under me.
*CRACK*
go go go! I start getting up. My left foot springs up quickly, but my right foot loses traction, the adidas ATS cool running shoes scrabbling against the ground. For a few precarious milliseconds, I slip before I thankfully regained control.
The first few steps were nerve wracking. I was so used to crouching near the ground, when I got up I was momentarily disorientated, nearly veering out of my lane.
Off all of us go, around the first bend. Already Jason Tsarouhas has caught up to me on the inside, but I don't care; Hans has already streaked ahead, but I see Sam Tarbet is still behind me in the second lane, and I'm keeping up with Sam Soh. I haven't dropped behind yet!
I regulate my breathing, trying to keep it regular. I used my puffer twice beforehand so the asthma hasn't started kicking in yet, which is a good sign. Its a pretty fast pace, but I've done a few runs before so I'm not feeling too bad; its at the edge but not past my limits, and still I haven't dropped behind everyone else- I only see a few runners ahead of me.
Down the strait we go. I keep pace with Sam Soh, then I push ahead, and he falls away from my periphary vision on the right. Tarbet's catching up, but I'm not too worried about that.
Into the final bend. I can see the crowd looming up ahead, and I'm feeling much more confident about this bend; no more wobbles near the edge of my lane. I keep putting in the effort to set me up for a decent finish.
It looked like I was coming third or fourth.
We start finishing off the bend and start running onto the final straight. I can hear the crowd building, the collective high pitched buzz that comes from the pure excitement they posess. I can see the track straightening out for me. I can see the gates through which I have to pass through. It must be about 80 metres away but it looks like forever.
I was tiring.
Hans and Jason were already streaking ahead. Burri must have been ahead of me already. To my right I see Sam Soh power ahead. To my left I see Sam Tarbet easily outstride me and sprint to the finish.
I got the impression that I was on a runway and all around me aircraft are firing up and taking off, and my engine wouldn't start.
The truth was that my legs were spent. I could hear the crowd, and while it seemed to spur on the others, it could not do the same with me. I willed my legs on, but each step just got harder and harder.
The finishing gates still seemed miles ahead of me.
To my far right, I see a brown shirt. It was Harrison Levvey, running hard. I watched with terror as he steadily caught up, trying to beat me before we finished.
15 metres to go. He was about 1.5 metres behind me. I was losing balance and struggling not to fall face first into the dirt.
10 metres to go. He was about half a metre behind me. Don't fall forward. Keep going
5 metres to go. He was just about level, I was desperate not to lose. Come on!
2 metres left. Balance was no longer required. There was simply no way I could possibly fall and not cross the line.
I gave it everything. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot.
I ducked my head through the thin yellow gate, then immediately lost balance, taking a step with my left foot before falling sideways onto the right side of my hip then doing a roll and landing on my back, arms spread wide.
'oohhhh', I hear the crowd, and the commentator Mr Tuckfield say. Or was it my imagination? I don't know.
I look up, and I see a brilliant blue sky with a few fluffy clouds. The track feels warm and rough, but strangely comforting. The last minute or so had been thrilling, but the race was over.
Two heads block the sky in front of me. One was Mr Hutton's the others was some other student.
Mr Hutton: 'Are you alright?'
Me: 'Yeah. Did I come seventh?'
Mr Hutton: 'you came seventh'
It was all I cared about. I didn't care about how sore I felt, or the grazing on my hip and left hand. All I cared about was getting a result for the race. Hearing those three words from Mr Hutton made all the effort, all the strain and all the pain worth it.
It didn't matter that I didn't come top 4 or whatever. After all, I am no athlete.
Mr Hutton and the student helped me up, and I shook hands with my fellow students. I couldn't help but smile, because even though six other people beat me, I had run my heart out and did myself proud. Looking at the number 7 tag, I didn't feel belittled or inferior. It was reward for the effor I had put in, and I was happy.
Writing about it today, I still got shivers up my spine thinking about that amazing minute.
Thanks to Sam Chan, Alex Morris and Mr Williams for letting me run the event!
Hope you enjoyed reading,
Loz
I wasn't listed to do the 400m. However, Sam Chan pulled out and offered me the spot, so I took it. It was 400m A's, which meant I was racing pretty much the top runner from each of the 8 houses. 'That's alright', I thought, because it meant I wouldn't have much pressure to perform; I am no athlete so no one expects me to do well anyway. I tell Kai about it.
Kai: 'you doing the A's?'
Me: 'yeah'
Kai: 'you've got to sprint that'
Me: 'ohh...'
To be honest that never occured to me that I would have to be 'sprinting', because I thought I was simply making up the numbers. It really freaked me out because it meant that now I had real pressure to perform.
The lineup did not look good for me:
J.Tsarouhas SUM
S.Tarbet BRI
me
H.Leung ROB
H.Levvey STE
B.Mellody SCH
S.Soh DER
N.Burri MAC
All were very accomplished athletes; it didn't look like I would be able to come close to any, let alone beat any of them.
I lined up at the cones along with everyone else. I watched the year 10s, then 11s, then 12 B's race. The races didn't go for very long, so hopefully my torture won't last very long.
Out we walk onto the red track, to our respective positions. I was in the 3rd lane, which I liked because it meant I was still on the inside, but dont start off like I'm behind everybody else.
I stand behind my cone, then walk forward to have a go crouching at the line.
'TAKE YOUR MARKS!'
up I walk, then slowly crouch down.
The perspective completely changes; the track is a lot closer, and I can see the little bumps on the track.
I see the other racers crouching ahead of me.
I see the white lines next to me quickly curving around the bend.
I feel a small breeze blow, making my fringe wave in the air ahead of me. My breathing is quiet, my heart pounding hard.
'SET!'
I get myself ready, pricking my ears for the bang of the gun, preparing my quads to spring me out of my crouch and down the track. I look down at the white line ahead of me, with my fingers splayed out under me.
*CRACK*
go go go! I start getting up. My left foot springs up quickly, but my right foot loses traction, the adidas ATS cool running shoes scrabbling against the ground. For a few precarious milliseconds, I slip before I thankfully regained control.
The first few steps were nerve wracking. I was so used to crouching near the ground, when I got up I was momentarily disorientated, nearly veering out of my lane.
Off all of us go, around the first bend. Already Jason Tsarouhas has caught up to me on the inside, but I don't care; Hans has already streaked ahead, but I see Sam Tarbet is still behind me in the second lane, and I'm keeping up with Sam Soh. I haven't dropped behind yet!
I regulate my breathing, trying to keep it regular. I used my puffer twice beforehand so the asthma hasn't started kicking in yet, which is a good sign. Its a pretty fast pace, but I've done a few runs before so I'm not feeling too bad; its at the edge but not past my limits, and still I haven't dropped behind everyone else- I only see a few runners ahead of me.
Down the strait we go. I keep pace with Sam Soh, then I push ahead, and he falls away from my periphary vision on the right. Tarbet's catching up, but I'm not too worried about that.
Into the final bend. I can see the crowd looming up ahead, and I'm feeling much more confident about this bend; no more wobbles near the edge of my lane. I keep putting in the effort to set me up for a decent finish.
It looked like I was coming third or fourth.
We start finishing off the bend and start running onto the final straight. I can hear the crowd building, the collective high pitched buzz that comes from the pure excitement they posess. I can see the track straightening out for me. I can see the gates through which I have to pass through. It must be about 80 metres away but it looks like forever.
I was tiring.
Hans and Jason were already streaking ahead. Burri must have been ahead of me already. To my right I see Sam Soh power ahead. To my left I see Sam Tarbet easily outstride me and sprint to the finish.
I got the impression that I was on a runway and all around me aircraft are firing up and taking off, and my engine wouldn't start.
The truth was that my legs were spent. I could hear the crowd, and while it seemed to spur on the others, it could not do the same with me. I willed my legs on, but each step just got harder and harder.
The finishing gates still seemed miles ahead of me.
To my far right, I see a brown shirt. It was Harrison Levvey, running hard. I watched with terror as he steadily caught up, trying to beat me before we finished.
15 metres to go. He was about 1.5 metres behind me. I was losing balance and struggling not to fall face first into the dirt.
10 metres to go. He was about half a metre behind me. Don't fall forward. Keep going
5 metres to go. He was just about level, I was desperate not to lose. Come on!
2 metres left. Balance was no longer required. There was simply no way I could possibly fall and not cross the line.
I gave it everything. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot.
I ducked my head through the thin yellow gate, then immediately lost balance, taking a step with my left foot before falling sideways onto the right side of my hip then doing a roll and landing on my back, arms spread wide.
'oohhhh', I hear the crowd, and the commentator Mr Tuckfield say. Or was it my imagination? I don't know.
I look up, and I see a brilliant blue sky with a few fluffy clouds. The track feels warm and rough, but strangely comforting. The last minute or so had been thrilling, but the race was over.
Two heads block the sky in front of me. One was Mr Hutton's the others was some other student.
Mr Hutton: 'Are you alright?'
Me: 'Yeah. Did I come seventh?'
Mr Hutton: 'you came seventh'
It was all I cared about. I didn't care about how sore I felt, or the grazing on my hip and left hand. All I cared about was getting a result for the race. Hearing those three words from Mr Hutton made all the effort, all the strain and all the pain worth it.
It didn't matter that I didn't come top 4 or whatever. After all, I am no athlete.
Mr Hutton and the student helped me up, and I shook hands with my fellow students. I couldn't help but smile, because even though six other people beat me, I had run my heart out and did myself proud. Looking at the number 7 tag, I didn't feel belittled or inferior. It was reward for the effor I had put in, and I was happy.
Writing about it today, I still got shivers up my spine thinking about that amazing minute.
Thanks to Sam Chan, Alex Morris and Mr Williams for letting me run the event!
Hope you enjoyed reading,
Loz
Sunday, August 16, 2009
freebies
Hello!
Melbourne Uni had their open day today, and it seemed to me like getting as many freebies as possible was more important than the course advice. To be honest I wasn't particularly excited in getting most of these, mostly because by and large they don't serve much purpose other than advertise the university once they get home. It got me thinking, why do we love these freebies so much?
Personally, I reckon we like them because of the initial thrill of receiving. I mean seriously, how amazing are most of the freebies once you get home? they'll probably go to some dark corner of your room, or just sit somewhere never to be useful again. However, that instant when you receive the gift, the moment the person says 'here you go', there's the rush that comes from receiving without having to give anything back in return.
Is it as thrilling as getting a present from a friend? probably. Is it as thrilling as buying the same object? probably not.
See the thing is, I don't think it has got much to do with the money you save. Wow, a free sausage! Wow, a free pen! yet how much do these things cost? a few dollars at most. Time and again we pay a few bucks at KFC or maccas or wherever we feel like, and we do not grumble about the prices. Despite what many of us claim, in reality i think many of us aren't too concerned about saving money, certainly not saving the few dollars for lunch, pens and a few soft teddies. Unlike my mother, who I remembered was annoyed that at a petrol station in nz that they rounded up 86c to 90c (they phased out the 5c coins).
I think the excitement of freebies comes from the moment of receiving, and possibly the moment of using (or eating as the case may be). After all, people who don't know you are GIVING you things FOR FREE! For many, it is irresistible, and even waiting in line for 15-20 minutes for some food is no deterrent.
Although many of us will probably not admit it, I believe that receiving feels special because we feel loved. We feel loved and special when someone we know give us a present, regardless of how badly thought out it is. It is the same for freebies, except perhaps it is even more special because the givers don't even know us. But the question is, why are they doing this? Why are they giving us these free items?
Advertising.
It is a powerful yet extremely subtle kind of advertising. These freebies spread around by word of mouth:
'grill'd are giving out vouchers for free chips!'
'did you get the freebies from optus?'
'I got so many freebies from melbourne uni open day!
See, it is impossible to talk about what you received without talking about where you got it from; who is doing the giving. It is a subtle message, one which some of us are not even aware of. And yet it is there.
This is so powerful that in the health industry, some people seriously want to boycott company sponsored medical lectures because of the effect it has on doctors. They feel that because of all the perks these doctors receive, it will make them prescribe drugs when better ones are available because of this subliminal advertising. It is a practice which has been going on for years and years, and its not cheap; dinner for hundreds of guests rarely is.
Why would pharmaceutical companies splash out on feeding hundreds of doctors for free if it wasn't useful and producing results?
It is similar to these open days. Although some shamelessly admit that they are going to open days for the freebies, many others will probably find excuses like 'homework' and 'too far' if such open days did not offer these trinkets.
However, I am by no means condoning getting these freebies; I admit that I waited today with a friend for 20 or so minutes in the rain today just so I could get some lunch, and although I claim that I go to open days for the information, I still cant help a pang of jealousy whenever I see friends with a stack of freebies, no matter how useless most of them are. Personally, I don't really mind the concept of freebies and how they compromise our judgement; after all, it is pretty much impossible to get information without bias these days anyway.
I guess the point of all of my rambling is this: take freebies, accept and embrace them; there is no harm in receiving free gifts! However, bear in mind that there is an underlying purpose behind these baubles, so don't let it brainwash you and overrule your better judgement!
Hope you understood most of that.
Loz
Melbourne Uni had their open day today, and it seemed to me like getting as many freebies as possible was more important than the course advice. To be honest I wasn't particularly excited in getting most of these, mostly because by and large they don't serve much purpose other than advertise the university once they get home. It got me thinking, why do we love these freebies so much?
Personally, I reckon we like them because of the initial thrill of receiving. I mean seriously, how amazing are most of the freebies once you get home? they'll probably go to some dark corner of your room, or just sit somewhere never to be useful again. However, that instant when you receive the gift, the moment the person says 'here you go', there's the rush that comes from receiving without having to give anything back in return.
Is it as thrilling as getting a present from a friend? probably. Is it as thrilling as buying the same object? probably not.
See the thing is, I don't think it has got much to do with the money you save. Wow, a free sausage! Wow, a free pen! yet how much do these things cost? a few dollars at most. Time and again we pay a few bucks at KFC or maccas or wherever we feel like, and we do not grumble about the prices. Despite what many of us claim, in reality i think many of us aren't too concerned about saving money, certainly not saving the few dollars for lunch, pens and a few soft teddies. Unlike my mother, who I remembered was annoyed that at a petrol station in nz that they rounded up 86c to 90c (they phased out the 5c coins).
I think the excitement of freebies comes from the moment of receiving, and possibly the moment of using (or eating as the case may be). After all, people who don't know you are GIVING you things FOR FREE! For many, it is irresistible, and even waiting in line for 15-20 minutes for some food is no deterrent.
Although many of us will probably not admit it, I believe that receiving feels special because we feel loved. We feel loved and special when someone we know give us a present, regardless of how badly thought out it is. It is the same for freebies, except perhaps it is even more special because the givers don't even know us. But the question is, why are they doing this? Why are they giving us these free items?
Advertising.
It is a powerful yet extremely subtle kind of advertising. These freebies spread around by word of mouth:
'grill'd are giving out vouchers for free chips!'
'did you get the freebies from optus?'
'I got so many freebies from melbourne uni open day!
See, it is impossible to talk about what you received without talking about where you got it from; who is doing the giving. It is a subtle message, one which some of us are not even aware of. And yet it is there.
This is so powerful that in the health industry, some people seriously want to boycott company sponsored medical lectures because of the effect it has on doctors. They feel that because of all the perks these doctors receive, it will make them prescribe drugs when better ones are available because of this subliminal advertising. It is a practice which has been going on for years and years, and its not cheap; dinner for hundreds of guests rarely is.
Why would pharmaceutical companies splash out on feeding hundreds of doctors for free if it wasn't useful and producing results?
It is similar to these open days. Although some shamelessly admit that they are going to open days for the freebies, many others will probably find excuses like 'homework' and 'too far' if such open days did not offer these trinkets.
However, I am by no means condoning getting these freebies; I admit that I waited today with a friend for 20 or so minutes in the rain today just so I could get some lunch, and although I claim that I go to open days for the information, I still cant help a pang of jealousy whenever I see friends with a stack of freebies, no matter how useless most of them are. Personally, I don't really mind the concept of freebies and how they compromise our judgement; after all, it is pretty much impossible to get information without bias these days anyway.
I guess the point of all of my rambling is this: take freebies, accept and embrace them; there is no harm in receiving free gifts! However, bear in mind that there is an underlying purpose behind these baubles, so don't let it brainwash you and overrule your better judgement!
Hope you understood most of that.
Loz
Saturday, August 15, 2009
motivation
Hey everyone!
Just watched my beloved cats get over the line at Sydney today so not exactly in the worst mood at the moment, but overall it wasn't the most flash day for me. Today I just couldn't really muster up much motivation to do any kind of homework really, which seriously worries me. It was stark contrast to yesterday, where in the double private study I just stuck my head down and wrote for the entire double to the point where when the bell went I wanted to stay and finish it off. It got me wondering, what prompts a desire to study and what doesnt?
Today, I had my iPod, my laptop and just about every other kind of distraction I could possibly have. Yesterday in private study, I didn't have any of those; pretty much all I had was pen and paper. It seems easy to draw the conclusion that I was distracted by other things, but I don't really think that this is the case. I opened up facebook, opened up random games, but none of that really appealed to me; it was all pretty boring stuff. song's werent exactly distracting either; they were just there, and I often get my best work done with them. So what is it?
I remember a few days ago, a friend of mine was talking about his lack of motivation, despite it being already near the end of year 12. He seemed pretty exasperated, and to be honest I couldn't really believe it either- WE ONLY HAVE ANOTHER 10 WEEKS OR SO OF SCHOOL, and you cannot concentrate?!
and yet here I was in exactly the same position.
I think that perhaps I am a person who works best with rigid structures in place; maybe that's why I prefer physics, specialist maths, and chemistry over english. With the first 3 subjects, you just see the problem, apply the formulas and just plug in the numbers and definitions.
Everything is just clear cut and a general procedure is followed.
However, I would always have a major fear of starting english essays; unlike maths and science problems, thought about what is the best way to go about things is required, and it is this lack of a path which deters me. Despite this, time and time again I plan english essays, and with such a plan in place I just write!
I write and write and pretty much don't stop until I have finished my essay at breakneck pace, after which I usually just try to fix up my messy handwriting. At such times, essay writing is just as simple and straightforward as maths at its best can be.
It made me realise that planning really is the best way to work efficiently, whether it is planning for a piece or planning for a weekend. Last week, I had one of my best weekends: I went out with friends on friday night, lost a whole afternoon on saturday because of shopping with my family, and yet I still got an absollute tonne of homework done.
Why? because I laid out what I had to do. Here's what I wrote in my diary:
1. Spec task
2. Chem worksheet
3. English questions
4. Chem questions
5. Physics assignment
6. Uni maths practice paper
True, I only finished the first four and started the fifth, but this wasn't a list of what I had to get done over the weekend; it was just what I could do. I had sunday pretty much all to myself, and it was just incredible how I just kept working and working, at the very desk which I could not work at today.
For me, it was a revealing moment; it proved to myself that I can actually focus on tasks for extended periods when
it is required.
Yes, I have wasted a whole day today, but I still have all of tomorrow to hopefully salvage what was a promising weekend. As for motivation for these crucial few months ahead, I keep thinking about nickelback- sometimes their lyrics don't make much sense, but I think some sections of 'If today was your last day' are particularly apt for us year 12'ers:
'every second counts 'cos there's no second try,
so live like you're never living twice'
Thanks for reading,
Loz
Just watched my beloved cats get over the line at Sydney today so not exactly in the worst mood at the moment, but overall it wasn't the most flash day for me. Today I just couldn't really muster up much motivation to do any kind of homework really, which seriously worries me. It was stark contrast to yesterday, where in the double private study I just stuck my head down and wrote for the entire double to the point where when the bell went I wanted to stay and finish it off. It got me wondering, what prompts a desire to study and what doesnt?
Today, I had my iPod, my laptop and just about every other kind of distraction I could possibly have. Yesterday in private study, I didn't have any of those; pretty much all I had was pen and paper. It seems easy to draw the conclusion that I was distracted by other things, but I don't really think that this is the case. I opened up facebook, opened up random games, but none of that really appealed to me; it was all pretty boring stuff. song's werent exactly distracting either; they were just there, and I often get my best work done with them. So what is it?
I remember a few days ago, a friend of mine was talking about his lack of motivation, despite it being already near the end of year 12. He seemed pretty exasperated, and to be honest I couldn't really believe it either- WE ONLY HAVE ANOTHER 10 WEEKS OR SO OF SCHOOL, and you cannot concentrate?!
and yet here I was in exactly the same position.
I think that perhaps I am a person who works best with rigid structures in place; maybe that's why I prefer physics, specialist maths, and chemistry over english. With the first 3 subjects, you just see the problem, apply the formulas and just plug in the numbers and definitions.
Everything is just clear cut and a general procedure is followed.
However, I would always have a major fear of starting english essays; unlike maths and science problems, thought about what is the best way to go about things is required, and it is this lack of a path which deters me. Despite this, time and time again I plan english essays, and with such a plan in place I just write!
I write and write and pretty much don't stop until I have finished my essay at breakneck pace, after which I usually just try to fix up my messy handwriting. At such times, essay writing is just as simple and straightforward as maths at its best can be.
It made me realise that planning really is the best way to work efficiently, whether it is planning for a piece or planning for a weekend. Last week, I had one of my best weekends: I went out with friends on friday night, lost a whole afternoon on saturday because of shopping with my family, and yet I still got an absollute tonne of homework done.
Why? because I laid out what I had to do. Here's what I wrote in my diary:
1. Spec task
2. Chem worksheet
3. English questions
4. Chem questions
5. Physics assignment
6. Uni maths practice paper
True, I only finished the first four and started the fifth, but this wasn't a list of what I had to get done over the weekend; it was just what I could do. I had sunday pretty much all to myself, and it was just incredible how I just kept working and working, at the very desk which I could not work at today.
For me, it was a revealing moment; it proved to myself that I can actually focus on tasks for extended periods when
it is required.
Yes, I have wasted a whole day today, but I still have all of tomorrow to hopefully salvage what was a promising weekend. As for motivation for these crucial few months ahead, I keep thinking about nickelback- sometimes their lyrics don't make much sense, but I think some sections of 'If today was your last day' are particularly apt for us year 12'ers:
'every second counts 'cos there's no second try,
so live like you're never living twice'
Thanks for reading,
Loz
Friday, August 14, 2009
first post
Hey everyone!
I've read some blogs recently and I must admit I was very impressed with the sophistication of some of them. It prompted me to think about blogging, and I decided I might as well give it a go; after all most people who blog seem to be pretty normal and cool people to be around so it shouldn't be another one of those things which will 'make me fail vce'! hopefully...
I must admit I was tentative about starting this- despite what some of you might think I am a pretty self concious guy who can get uncomfortable in the public eye, as those at house music can attest! I figured that even if this does turn out to be a bad blog at least I can get a bit of english practice.
If you're wondering why I decided to name my blog 'loz man', don't ask- I'm not entirely sure its so great either! I've looked at the names of some people's blogs; some people combine complex words (Dean), others decide to show off their french skills (Jon) while many decide to simply use nicknames (Edi). Admittedly I spent a long time trying to think up something sophisticated and classy for myself but couldn't come up with much, but the whole time I couldn't get the images of Dean and Edi saying (yelling? screaming?) 'lozzzzmmmannn', so I figured it will have to do for now.
That's it from me!
Lawrence
I've read some blogs recently and I must admit I was very impressed with the sophistication of some of them. It prompted me to think about blogging, and I decided I might as well give it a go; after all most people who blog seem to be pretty normal and cool people to be around so it shouldn't be another one of those things which will 'make me fail vce'! hopefully...
I must admit I was tentative about starting this- despite what some of you might think I am a pretty self concious guy who can get uncomfortable in the public eye, as those at house music can attest! I figured that even if this does turn out to be a bad blog at least I can get a bit of english practice.
If you're wondering why I decided to name my blog 'loz man', don't ask- I'm not entirely sure its so great either! I've looked at the names of some people's blogs; some people combine complex words (Dean), others decide to show off their french skills (Jon) while many decide to simply use nicknames (Edi). Admittedly I spent a long time trying to think up something sophisticated and classy for myself but couldn't come up with much, but the whole time I couldn't get the images of Dean and Edi saying (yelling? screaming?) 'lozzzzmmmannn', so I figured it will have to do for now.
That's it from me!
Lawrence
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