The english exam is over. Hmmm...
I wasn't too sure what it would be like after english. For a time I expected it to feel like the greatest euphoria, but that's not really how I feel. I suppose it felt a bit like the end of school; a bit numb and unsure how to react with a bit of happiness. Definitely doesn't have the sadness of leaving school though!
The exam overall wasn't too bad for me; definitely not the best 3 essays I've ever done, although language analysis might have been close. Text response was a good essay marred by a messy ending; context was an ordinary essay also with a messy ending. Whether the exam marker sees it as deep insight or an inarticulate writer is down to luck.
Spec afterwards was fairly straightforward; as Jimmy Zhang exclaimed, 'no graphs!' I realised a mistake afterwards after some discussion with other people though.
I was still kinda buzzing last night, and I don't think the lighning storm helped either. Did anyone else think it seemed unusually massive? The flashes kept lighting up my room; I could see it even with my eyes closed. The regularity of the flashing seemed strange- it didn't have a pattern so couldn't have been some flashing man-made light, but it didn't seem sporadic enough for lightning.
I went outside to try and see what it was. I still don't really know what I was expecting, but the unknown was fascinating. To be honest I even thought it could've been some kind of ufo.
I went outside, but couldn't see anything, and it started raining so off I went back to bed, staring at the cieling as the flashes briefly and suddenly illuminated my room.
This morning I was hoping for something in the paper or in the news about an epic thunderstorm or something last night, but it seems like I was just making a bigger deal of it than it was. Oh well.
Haven't really written in a while so I'm a bit rusty, but it seems a bit like sometimes I've subconciously imitated Tom Loo's style of writing.
Does anyone think that?
Are you stressed? You seem stressed. Don't get stressed. It's nearly over. Omg exams!
In the space of about an hour, both my brother and my dad commented on my stress levels because they thought 'I looked stressed'. I'm not really sure how to take that; sure I am sliiightly stressed at the moment (don't think too many year 12s now would say they don't feel ANY kind of subconcious pressure at this time of the year), but I don't think I was particularly stressed today.
After all I just had a pretty good solid day of study, and I was feeling quietly content with myself.
Done today:
-Spec 1 hour exam
-Spec 2 hour exam
-Chemistry exam
-English essay
Admittedly the english essay was just finding the right concluding sentence, but even so, that was about 4 hours worth of solid work. I'm not bragging about how much I've done and trying to make you feel bad about yourself; after all this was probably more than I did for the whole weekend preceding today.
I think I just work better on Mondays, when I'm spurred on by the feeling of a fresh start to the week (I see the week as Monday-Sunday rather than Sunday-Saturday), sitting down at my desk in quiet with the rest of the family out, a nice iPod playlist, and the guilt of yet another squandered weekend in which so much was promised but so little delivered.
The funny thing is, I got home at 3:30 but I don't think I started working until 4:30, and took a liesurely shower at 5:10 too. It's not like I completely spent all of my time hard core working until now. It just seemed like my concentration decided to dock at my consciousness today.
As I've said, monday's usually a good day for me. Sometimes tuesday is decent despite a draining 2 hours of uni maths, but most of the time by wednesday I'm pretty much all fizzled out and already looking forward to the weekend. However, I think now I won't be hoping for time to pass quickly; I wan't as much preparation for English as I can get!
I've been dreaming of how it would be like at 12:25pm on October 30th in a couple of weeks time; how the massive weight and pressure (most of it probably imaginary and self imposed) of writing the best three essay I possibly could would be lifted from my shoulders. After that I can approach spec, physics, chemistry and uni maths knowing that I won't have to think about English ever again!
What will the reality be like? I'll have to wait and see.
